Lohbado's Hole

not to be confused with Mel's Hole

    Lohbado, not that he was trying to say anything, in fact was trying to say something, although he wasn’t clear what. A pressure built up inside his head. Waves of restless, discursive energy swept through his nervous system. Chaotic churning of thought made him nearly break into tongues. He was on the verge of glossolalia when he uttered the word: OOGAH!

    Lohbado proclaimed OOGAH then realized there’s nothing to proclaim. Of course, as common sense will tell you, the proclamation of nothing is something: it’s a sequence of words stating nothing.

    When did the proclamation begin? Hard to say. Maybe it began from a swarm of thought, which collected around a fixation, like flies attracted to a spot of jam on the kitchen counter.

    Looking back on the event of Lohbado proclaiming Oogah, Lohbado remembered experiencing a psychic wave, images swelling and crashing in his mind, evoking words. Chaos evolved into a circular letter form, the letter O, or the number zero in all its implications of promising so much and yet so little; of offering the infinite but adding up to nothing. Zero could be immeasurable space in which anything could happen. O could be a holey vowel, a gasp of surprise, a grunt of pleasure, a singer holding a note, or a word-ending to indicate gender, for example, to distinguish Maria from Mario.

    The syllable OH occurred as the second two letters in Lohbado’s name, another reason he wished to proclaim a word beginning with O, the world Oogah.

    Oh is both positive and negative, for example: oh no, oh dear, oh ho, oh-boy-oh-boy- oh-boy, oh-oh-oh, oh shit.

    Lohbado gazed at the circular horizon as he struggled against a mild whirlwind that spun across the semicircular path around the edge of a curved parking lot. He hurried up the curved staircase to the front entrance of a round building. A group of men and women sat around a round table in an oval room and argued about everything and nothing, zero and  one. But first, they gave each other a circular handshake and a round of patting and rubbing on the back.

    And so, even as Lohbado opened the round hole of his mouth to say Oogah, he realized the end of his circular journey touched the point of departure. Lohbado felt glad to be rolling along on the wheel of life, as the earth rotated during its orbit around the sun.