To relax relaxively speaking relaxes non-relaxation. Tension, stress or the state of being non-relaxed relaxes into relaxation when one decides to relax. Relaxation begins the minute one makes the decision to relax. At first, this might not be obvious. Next time thoughts are driving you wild and emotions are out of control, say the word "relax" and see what happens.
Have no expectations. Relaxation won't happen if you expect it to happen. You can't make it happen. But you can decide to relax. The moment of making the decision to relax, a micro-moment of relaxation, almost imperceptibly, happens. If one frequently decides to relax, one's orientation will gradually change from being driven by the tension, stress, confusion, selfishness, negativity of hope and fear towards a bit more relaxation. In other words, your habitual orientation or internal script will change from a script of aggression, passion and ignorance, to an aspiration for calm, spacious, quiet relaxation.
In other words, next time you start freaking out, or feeling overwhelmed, pressured and stressed, tell yourself to relax. Once you're relaxed, it might be easier to deal with whatever may or may not be happening.
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