out of the norm

Jagged A, neon C, cool purple B and a hot H separate food booth signs in the food court. One booth, red, white and green sells pizza. The next booth, red and white, Chinese food; next, the hot dog bistro, then Halal falafel, Ranchito Latino, dumplings, club sandwiches and so on, enough food to keep a glutton busy for weeks. A steady buzz of background pop tunes filtered through speakers set into the drop-tile ceiling, this is where the remarkable encounter with a space alien occurred.

I sat at a shiny table near a group of men engaged in coffee and conversation. One of the men, in a white linen suit, gazed at me with a psychedelic stare. Something about the man appeared out of the norm, maybe the waxy gray skin, or the large, baby-doll blue eyes or pointy ears. When he turned his head a certain way, fine, almost invisible wires picked up light from florescent ceiling lamps. The fine, filament wires vibrated like toaster coils quivering when one accidentally bumps the toaster while reaching to turn on the coffee machine. Those were unmistakable space antennas.


A wave of biofeedback flowed, like soothing warm water, through my brain and spread in a warm shiver of deep relaxation and well-being throughout my body. A force took possession of my body and had access to memory files hidden in the hard drive of my brain. At the same instant of blissful streaming, a light, popping sound created slight pressure inside my skull. I sensed what was going on, an alien presence from a literal space alien.


The space alien established contact before I was even aware of what was going on. It was almost like his mind and my consciousness merged and became inseparable, like two superimposed monads. The space alien mind and my mind were one. It was impossible, for an instant, to separate space alien mind from alienated human mind.


Fortunately, I remembered the mental event which took place during this extraordinary moment of earth/space consciousness. An understanding occurred, in the form of a thought indicating it might be nice to order a bean burrito from Mi Ranchito Latino for lunch and to wash it down with a one dollar cup of coffee served in a white Styrofoam cup.


At the moment of this thought occurrence, the connection disappeared. I tapped the side of my head to try and find the signal, but it was gone. This dramatic and unusual event ended as quickly as it began, without allowing me a chance to pose any one of the thousands of pressing metaphysical questions that had built up over the years, regarding the mystery of the universe and the possibility of receiving a few illuminating answers to end the darkness of not knowing. 


Human/alien contact resulted in nothing more profound than the desire to order a bean burrito and cup of coffee. And so, like many a mundane adventure, Lohbado was left breathless, jaw hanging, as the great white stallion of time and space galloped through the plains of consciousness like a giant burst of warm downward moving wind or flatulence. By the mustard on that wiener over there, I swear this is the truth.