Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Arrested at Lumpies


Government agents raided Lumpies Donuts, while Lohbado was using the toilet, and arrested Marvin. Marvin had stolen a laptop computer from a Department of Standardization office. The computer contained case studies and recorded interviews. Lohbado wondered why anyone would steal such material, since it was mostly boring. He knew the contents of such files. The guy who stole it must have been nuts. That’s an occupational hazard. Sometimes the Drones crack. Drones specialized in organizing information, making it available to trainers and administrators.



Marvin, about forty, had been having an affair with the fifty-year old regional supervisor, Kurstin. When the affair went sour, Kurstin had him canned. She wanted a man with spine, someone romantic, who would sweep her off her feet. She warned Marvin to smarten up. He didn’t take her warnings seriously. He felt he could smooth talk his way out of the situation. No amount of talk could change the fact that Kurstin didn't love him anymore. She was involved with Dan, one of the astronauts. Dan went on three space missions, before being appointed IOA (Internal Operations Advisor). He was about sixty, one of the highest paid and respected workers in the dome. Marvin never thought Kurstin would go for an older man, when she could have a younger man like Marvin. 

Lohbado knew Kurstin was sleeping with Dan when she showed up one morning, sporting a flashy diamond bracelet and a short leather skirt, revealing a horse head tattooed on her thigh. That same morning, she spoke to Marvin in a disrespectful tone, asking him if he’d started using the new language. Of course, everyone knew there was no need for another computer language. It was simply a routine flexing of muscle. Top administrators and counsellors justified their salaries by finding ways to prod workers, to make them sweat and dance. When Marvin tried to reply to her rude question, she cut him off and abruptly walked away.

Administrators had a way of making life difficult for people they wanted to get rid of. She told him she was going to apply the pressure. She threw a new procedural protocol at him, which meant he’d have to learn a new hypermarkup script, BSFU. Everyone dreaded that new script, the demonic work of the sadistic consultant Harry Balzbraken. This new encrypted data-protecting security language had a steep learning curve, which would take at least six months to learn. Kurstin allowed Marvin six weeks to do a year’s worth of work. The new language followed the Minister of Standardization’s new cost-cutting mandate.

Marvin reached breaking point. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to go on working for the department. He stayed, because correspondents from Yamaville appreciated looking at his files. They encouraged him to keep at it, to not cave in to pressure. To survive, one morning he called in sick. When he showed up the next day, Kurstin informed him, “You were missed. We’re sorry that you were not here to do your duty.”

Marvin could barely contain his rage, especially since Sven pointed out what everyone in the department already knew, Kurstin was sleeping with Dan the astronaut. It was all over between Marvin and Kurstin. She couldn’t stand to see his face anymore. Just knowing he was among them gave her the creeps. She wanted him gone, as soon as possible.
 
Good thing Lohbado was in the toilet during the arrest at Lumpies Donuts. He knew the agents would have demanded to see his identity papers. In his haste to leave the dome, he didn’t go through the proper channels. Instead, he forged the documents. At a glance, they looked fine. But he didn’t want to risk being subjected to a database search. During his six years as a Trainer in the Dome, Lohbado made an enemy, high up in the administration. He broke into his file and saw the black dot next to his name and the statement that said Lohbado needed to undergo therapeutic re-organization. They’d been on his trail from the start. Lohbado was lucky to have kept his job so long. While he couldn’t be arrested for wrong doing, he knew agents could use his dicey record as an excuse to harass or hurt him.

Marvin’s new companion Wanda, who was there with him during the arrest, made a scene. Lohbado gazed at the evidence of struggle: a plate of French fries scattered all over the table, a large coke spilled on the floor, a half-eaten big-burger. An apple pastry had exploded under an agent’s boot, leaving a trail of beige gel footprints on the pale green tile floor from the table to the glass door. 

Lohbado heard shouting, loud sobbing and a struggle as the agents pushed Wanda out the double doors and into a van parked just outside. He saw Marvin get in without a struggle. Wanda thrashed and kicked one of the agents in the shin. He howled in pain and whacked her on a shoulder blade. He brought the baton down hard. An agonizing scream, heartrending; he didn’t have to hit her so hard. She didn’t have to kick him. All over a laptop filled with unspectacular information.

Nothing was too unspectacular for Morono Man. Out of nowhere, he appeared, in his pale green body suit and pink cape. Morono Man directed a wave of drowsiness at the agents. Stunned with fatigue, they were unable to respond as Morono Man grabbed Wanda by the arm and pulled her into the Silver Capsule, a rocket-shaped vehicle, faster than the speed of sound, able to stop and start with the precision of a honeybee, and capable of imitatating the unpredictable flight pattern of a house fly, thus making the capsule difficult to pursue. The silver coating of the capsule rendered it effective in exposing, or piercing the heart of demons or malevolent spirits who created bad vibes. 

Wanda pleaded with Morono Man to rescue the Marvin. Too late, the stupefied agents had regained their senses. They fired dangerous rays from hand-held ray guns as Morono Man closed the rocket door. There was no way he could go back and get Marvin. A ray hit the Capsule as it took off, causing it to deviate off course and nearly crash into the top of a five-story brick building. Pedestrians gazed on in amazement. A minor collision stopped traffic on Payne Street as a distracted motorist tried to have a look. A transit bus leaned on the horn to get by, while an ambulance, sirens blazing, rushed to the scene to collect anyone who got hurt.

to be continued... in the next episode, find out Wise Woman’s perspective on the rescue. She accused Morono Man of deliberately saving Wanda and leaving Marvin behind. Wise Woman explained how such feats were sexist, that men deserved, just as much as women, to be rescued. Morono Man's soft spot for women in distress implied that he operated out of selfish, desire-based motives.

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