Saturday, March 26, 2011

The Pain of Lohbado

After years of turning his eye inward to contemplate his mind, or upward towards the sky, after stumbling into one too many holes and breaking so many bones, until every joint in his body burned and every bone felt like a toothache, until his chest experienced continual stabbing sorrow with each beat, Lohbado threw himself on the ground and didn't move for a long time.

"This pain is more than I can bear," he groaned, as if there were a god or somebody listening.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Morono Interogation Technique

I tried to escape by crawling up an air vent inside cement walls. Half way up the crawl space, I panicked, realizing I was too far in to crawl out and too tired to crawl upwards any farther. I could get stuck half way up the vertical crawl space, die and rot. Eventually a vent cleaning person would be called to flush out the vent. This was a case for Morono Man. Read below, if you dare.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

God is Coming

When the Lord of the Nations get here, you better make sure there's enough oil in the lantern and that your clothes are clean from not having sinned. On the great day, when God gets here, you will be clothed in robes of light. This is no joke. When you're cruising down the freeway of life, sometimes an accident, or police officer forces you to stop and take stock of the situation. When the day of reckoning happens, the little sins add up. They'll prickle the skin like thistles. You'll burn in poison ivy from head to foot with regret. Better stop sinning now, while there's still time. Everybody should be good. There's too much bad going on. People are too trigger happy, eager to drop bombs and shoot missiles. God is losing patience. Don't make God mad. I'm going to go repent over a plate of spaghetti right now.

I'm only telling you what my father and grandfathers told me, about the value of the Almighty Dollar and a hard daze evening. It's time for ladies and gentlemen of the dreaming universe to wake up.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Morono Man

Morono Man, to prevent progressive decompensation, or downward sinking towards vegetable catatonia, bust up a band of a dozen loafers, who freeloaded or baked in sleep twelve hours a night, only to rise from the bed to be eaten by necessity, or to crumble under pressure. Morono Man appeared as an alarm clock, to awaken top administrators of Eepee Corporation from butter, blueberry biscuit stupor. Eepee Corporation manufactured plastic, electronic card chip devices designed to monitor and satiate appetite and desire.

Monday, March 7, 2011

free coffee

Morono Man has super power of smell. He can smell when people are trying to rip off the system in order to get a free cup of coffee. The other day, he caught a group of men cranking out counterfeit coffee cards. Each card would get the bearer twenty cups of coffee. Morono Man went in to bust up the operation, but he's got a heart of plastic and is a sucker for sentimental platitudes. No self-evident truth is too shallow for Morono Man.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

drive in and enjoy

The miracle of the fish burger happened to me yesterday. I was hungry, closed my eyes and then opened them to find myself riding through the drive-through in a mini-van. I felt like a good citizen, supporting business and good nutrition, encouraging oil production, plus having a religious experience to boot. Club Morono recommends that you smile and enjoy your day!