At 3 AM, the walls of the one-story house shook in the roaring wind. Lohbado opened his eyes in the darkness and listened as a storm raged across the Plains of Radiation.
He’d been exposed to low levels of radiation. Chronic burning in the throat and excess drool were symptoms. Glands produced so much saliva, drool constantly leaked from his mouth. For the past six months, he’d been waking up with slime in the throat. His throat tightened. He could hardly breathe. He’d start coughing and coughing and coughing until an obstructing ball of jelloid bounced out of his throat. Lohbado would catch the ball in a napkin, or hoark it into the sink.
One night, Lohbado coughed up a slime ball into the palm of his hand. Lohbado flipped on the bedroom light to exam the pale green substance. It had eyes, a mouth and a tiny nose. It resembled the head of a seal.
Lohbado smiled as the slime ball looked at him. To his surprise, the slime ball smiled back. The first thought that entered his mind: “My new friend!”
He carried his slimy friend to the kitchen and put it into a jar. He shook the jar to see if it had genitals. The shaking motion tickled the creature, causing it to laugh and communicate, via mental telepathy. The creature communicated that Lohbado should put it in a bowl of sand and feed it saliva. Lohbado developed a feeding routine of spitting on the slime ball about three or four times a day to keep it moist. Slowly, the creature grew a torso and set of arms. It had everything, from the waist up. It moved about the room via bouncing. It could bounce half way up the wall.
Lohbado discovered the creature loved peanut butter. He called it Flem. Since Flem was from Lohbado’s throat, he assumed Flem was male. He invited Dr. Jane Wormsly over for a look, then suggested if she could cough up a ball of female slime, the two balls might procreate. The slime balls could found a new race of slithering, bouncy smooth slimelettes and establish a city of Slimopolis in the middle of an expanding slosmos.
Flem was so polite, Lohbado promised one day to cough up a brother or sister. For the moment, he was only ready to commit to one creature in a bowl of sand, unless of course Jane were to provide a companion.
Lohbado wiped the drool from his beard and smiled as he contemplated endless possibilities.
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