|ink on pages of Lohbado sketchbook
The whole experience could be quite confusing. During his last panic attack, Lohbado realized that what makes him feel bad is any sort of defeatist attitude. A defeatist attitude often took the form of little crying whimpering sounds from the shadows and under rocks which said, stop, don't do that. What you're doing is weird. It makes no sense. The art you're making is not art. The music you're making is not music. Your videos are pointless. Please stop. Lohbado tried to stop. Each time he stopped it was like doing violence to his inner organs. The creative force began to consume him from within, until he had no choice but to leap out of bed again and start dancing.
The moment you say yes and give yourself permission to explore, celebrate and have fun, the mental horizon opens. One's mind brightens. Wow, it feels so much better than to cringe in fear of disproval from people who feel what you're doing is just nonsense and that you should stop.
The point is to be peaceful, confident and do the best you can. If you feel the urge to explore, to create, to go beyond boundaries, then do so. Lohbado's rule of thumb: do what you have to do, as long as it doesn't harm oneself or others. Of course, if one becomes annoying or obnoxious, then people will avoid you. To dance or follow the way of joyful striving, contemplation of the infinite and willingness to question oneself, to examine one's mind and to go beyond preconceived notions requires effort, discipline and some sort of inner calm and mental clarity. Create, plunge into the moment, view each situation as something new, rather than cowering within an enclosure of fear and the sedate.
Anxiety comes and goes. It's not all doom and gloom. The world is filled with a few billion creative, intelligent beings. Eventually one is drawn towards other writers, musicians, artists, dancers, cooks and so on. Friends, let's dance, sing and celebrate the act of being alive.