I drink, therefore I am.

Listen to what happened to Lohbado after taking a ride in the cosmic Cadillac across the mighty bridge, over the river of forgetfulness separating the land of the living from the land of the dead.

cat soap

With the spread of microbes and harmful bacteria, it's a good idea to wash the hands whenever it seems like a good idea. I saw the bar of "Le Chat" in a store window. Lohbado washed his hands and then made an attempt to tidy up the messy apartment. Each time he attempted to organize a pile of things, another wave of things would wash the pile back into chaos. Lohbado gave up. He sat down on the floor, with a bar of cat soap. He contemplated the wrapper and imagined a vast, ocean panorama.

Canada Day Sausage Celebration

 Actually, July 1 in Montreal is moving day, when many leases expire and new leases are taken on. People move from one dwelling to another. It turned out to be a bright, sunny day, perfect for firing up the barbecue and laying down those sausages on the grill. Ideally, the sausage should be fried slowly, until drips of oil burst or ooze through the skin, in other words, until the sausage sweats. Be careful, when biting into it, that pork juice doesn't squirt you in the eye.

ghost motel

First, note the similarity in color between the glass of apple juice and peach compote. Note visceral connection of food body sensation. Some foods are heavy and moist, others light and flaky, acidic, sweet, sour and so on. Peach compote, fresh from the fridge, cool, slithery, it could be swallowed with minimal chewing and sits comfortably in the stomach. The apple juice, also cool, but sweet and slightly acidic, doesn’t taste good with peach compote, but makes a good photo, golden juice and peach colored peach.

Lohbado sat in the motel restaurant and ate peach compote and drank black coffee. Jane Wormsly had blueberry pie and apple juice. They gazed warmly into each other’s eyes, after driving a stretch of road, under construction, leading into the city. Jane nearly peed her pants as they got caught in heavy flow, bumper to bumper, freeway turned into parking lot. She talked seriously about having to pee into a towel if they didn’t soon get to the exit ramp. Lohbado offered her the use of his tee shirt. It took an hour to clear one interchange.

de-coding department

For a while, Lohbado worked in the Decoding Department for the Ministry of Regulation. His precarious career rested on one achievement: he unscrambled a Thermopolite message to the Mayor of Antz. It turned out to be an official invitation to share a liter of  apple juice.

This was the peak of Lohbado's career. Everything else he did ended up a disorganized muddle of fragments. His computer microphone picked up sputters and groans. Lohbado insisted the sounds were space-alien communiques directed to a certain Harry Brown, advising him to protect Porcupine Sanitary Tissue company from smear tactics. Politicians from the other party got at Harry Brown via the back door, implying a conflict of interest. They accused him of handing out contracts to the PST, to make them the official suppliers of hygienic tissues in government buildings.

The rest is history, the incident of peach compote, roast turkey and apple juice. Harry Brown was forced to resign from his post as Minister of Tools and Devices.

running Nomroh spirit

A speck of dust blew into Lohbado's right eye as he reached the summit of Rock Hill. It stung the eye. As he rubbed the right eye, he saw a flash of light. A running Nomroh spirit appeared. It was the spirit that got squeezed out of prisoners during Department of Regulation training sessions. As the process of standardization squeezed the mind into tighter confines, psychic energies erupted into images. Lohbado sank to his knees and thanked Oogah for the vision. He piled up a stack of rocks to commemorate the spot where the speck of dust entered his eye, unleashing the retinal flash of a running spirit.

Morono Man in Chick n Dick

    Chick, fried egg eyes, omelet textured skin, turkey neck, hooked beak of a nose, lived on potatoes, carrots, eggs and coffee. He moved into a hen house after mother’s farmhouse burned down. Mother died in the fire.