insomnia

from Lohbado's sketchbook

A feeling of strangulation woke Lohbado at 3 AM. Sometimes he had trouble breathing, due to the musty basement atmosphere and the decades old thin grey carpet on concrete. Lohbado tossed and turned an hour, got up at 4, had breakfast and went for a walk. His mind felt groggy, semi-awake, but hard to focus. Lights and forms became vivid. He stood at the intersection and felt hypnotized for a few seconds, the colored lights in the darkness. In the park, he felt a strange sensation as he gazed at the shadow of a tree on a plywood wall. The lamps gave off an orange glow.

It felt good to go out, to get away from the place of tossing and turning. The physical discomfort often created turmoil in his mind. Anxious thoughts, unpleasant memories, dread about the future tormented him. It was a relief to put on a coat and walk down the street, to gaze at the dots of street lights leading into the distance.